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Working vs staying at home

Working vs staying at home

This is a pretty h o t  topic in any parents eyes. The question is always which is the right option for me? The latter part of that question is the most important. For me. For you. Everyone is different, what works for you may not work for another and that is perfectly okay. I’ve tried both working and staying at home, both have positives and negatives. It should be about what works best for you and your little’s.

W o r k i n g :

I found it extremely difficult to incorporate a good working, parenting balance. I absolutely loved pretty much everything about being home with my little girl, going back to work was a massive shock to the system. I’m a nurse so the hours weren’t exactly family friendly and it was hard, tiring work. I would end a day of work and feel so mentally/physically exhausted that I felt like I had nothing more to give to my little girl.

Whenever she was sick, I felt awful for leaving her with someone when I just wanted to snuggle her and make sure she knew that I love her. Of course, she knew that. So really, I wanted to reassure myself that she knew.

As much as I found working and being a mom hard flipping work. It had its positives, I was providing for my little family. I was showing my little girl that you have to work for things in life and I was teaching her to be independent. That it’s not always the job for the mom to stay at home. She went to nursery and absolutely loved it, she was able to play with other children and get used to me not being around all of the time. It 100% did her the world of good (not my heart though).

Oh, and it’s definitely no lie when people tell you that they go to work for a break from parenting. haha. Some days, when she was being an almighty demon, I felt grateful that I had a little escape. Does that make me a bad mom? I hope not. It did my sanity the world of good, I felt like I was a better parent for it for sure.

Staying at home :

Making this decision was possibly the hardest decision ever for me. I was putting my career on hold for an undetermined amount of time. Being at home all day, every day with a mischevious, little toddler is sometimes just as draining as long days on a hospital ward. That may be a slight over exaggeration BUT, I did question my decision to stay at home on the hard days.

However, I’ve made memories, built a connection and improved myself by staying at home with my little. No more mom guilt for leaving her crying at the nursery while I dash off to work, or my eyes welling up when signing an accident form at nursery, thinking I wasn’t there to comfort her when she was hurt. I was able to be the best possible mom that I wanted to be.

Working and parenting is hard, staying at home and parenting is hard. Parenting in general is freakin hard. There’s no manual telling you how to get it right. No special instructions to how to deal with each situation. You just have to do what you do and hope it’s right. There’s no competition between working and staying at home for me. I salute every single working parent because you are hard flipping core. You’re doing the best you possibly can for your child and you deserve all the praise in the world.

And as for you, stay at home parents. You inspire me. Also, doing all that you can for your child in a completely different way. You deserve just as much praise because you’re doing such a good job at theeeee hardest job.

So, no matter if you’re working or staying at home, you deserve a MAHOOSIVE pat on the back because y’all rock! Life is tough, add children into the mix and it gets even tougher. No matter how you’re doing it, whatever working decisions you’re making, you’re doing what is best for you and your family. And that my friends, is all that matters!

Ohthatstacey

xo

 

My top tips to live the life you love♡

My top tips to live the life you love♡

Hiiii everyone, hope you’ve had the best weekend and are feeling refreshed and ready to take on a new week.

I’ve recently made quite a massive decision in my life that is going to make a huge impact on my future. I’ve had many people question it, some just curious and others maaaaybe a little judgey, but I’m cool with it, HOWEVER, it did get me to thinking. I’m trying real hard to follow these few steps in my life to help me remember that ultimately, my happiness is really important and I should have the mindset to be able to achieve whatever I want to in life, in whatever timeframe.

Step number one) Write a list of everything you want to achieve in your life, lists are magic for the brain I promise. Don’t give yourself a timeframe, that’s just waiting for pressure to fall on your shoulders. No matter how far-fetched or how silly the goals may seem, add them all to your list. This will be your life passport. How many times have you heard people say oh I’ve always wanted to do that but I can’t because of this. I’ve said it probably far too many times and I’m really trying my best to change that. The only opportunities we miss are the ones we decide not to take.

Step number two) throw out negativity, ain’t nobody got time for that. For reals though, positive vibes are what you need. Someone raining on your parade? Either dump their ass orrrr help them see your side. Sometimes negativity comes from others but a lot of the time the negativity comes from ourselves. When did it become the norm to beat ourselves up so damn much? Time to start saying yes more. Time to think that our cup is half full and not half empty.

Step number three) The only people whose opinions matter are those who love and care for you and you love them. Want to be a full-time mom/housewife/dad/house husband? Do it. Want to work yourself up the career ladder AND be a mom/dad? Do it? Want to own your own business and boss being a parent? Do it. You’re catching my drift, right? YOU and only you are in control of your life, don’t let anyone else have that power over you. You know what your heart wants, no one else. Go get it.

Step number four) Always remember that failure is good. Failure is the pathway to a learning curve. You may only slip and graze your knee or you may fall hard and break your leg. Don’t let that make you quit. Failure and hard times will come I promise you that. Life isn’t easy but it’s not meant to be. Work, learn and move on. Don’t dwell on things you can’t change. Look forward but never forget and you will be so so much happier for it.

And finally, step number five) Enjoy the journey. Every day I try and remember all the many blessings I have in my life. When I’m out for a walk I listen to the birds chirping and smile, not only because I love that sound but because how lucky I am to hear them. I can be as grumpy as the next person (hangry is a real thing) but I’m trying to implement this positive attitude into my life. I’ve had trials, I have difficulties in day to day life that I’m battling as I’m sure everyone does but that doesn’t mean I have a bad life. It’s just a bad day, not a bad life. Take each day as it comes and throw yourself completely into every opportunity, you’ll regret it if you don’t and regret is a terrible feeling.

Eat that cake and then double up on your fruit and veg, balance is everything. Buy yourself those shoes but put extra in your savings next time, you deserve a treat. Life can be as good as we make it. Bad times come, have your loved ones close and they’ll help you get through it. Don’t ever let anyone tell you how you should live your life, everyone is different. What is the norm for me will be unusual to someone else and that’s okay. Embrace your differences, that’s what makes you, you. And YOU are pretty dang amazing.

Have the best week ♡

-S

xo

Squashing the negative ♡

IMG_3642

Hiiiii everyone, hope you’re all enjoying this very sunshiney weekend!

I was talking to a good friend of mine about the world we’re bringing our children up in and it really got me to thinking. She was sharing experiences of her children having run ins with other children (which happens I know, that’s life), it’s a shame for me to say that this happens in adult life too.

How do we explain to our precious littles that sometimes in the world people can be mean intentionally or unintentionally and we just have to rise above it?

Im sure at some point in everyone’s life they’ve been at the brunt of someone’s anger, they’ve been hurt by someone’s words, been manipulated or bullied in some way. Talking from personal experience, it is SO hard to overcome these difficulties with positivity. I hate confrontation, and will avoid wherever possible however, I still stick up for myself and I guess that’s the most important thing.

You can be kind but still be courageous. And that’s an important aspect to teach our children.

Every day, we hear of bad things happening all around us. It’s terrifying knowing you’re bringing children up in this crazy world with crazy things happening all around. You do want to just wrap them in bubble wrap and keep them safe, holding your hand forever.

I understand now more than ever why my mom sheltered me when I was younger and why she kept me away from certain things, I’m grateful for that now (even though I was probably an argumentative pain in the backside back then) ha. That’s life, we live and we learn.

Ive seen a fair few heart breakingly sad situations so far in my nursing career and if it’s taught me anything, it’s taught me that life is short, too short and you never, ever know what is around the corner. Be kind, bring up your children to be kind.

Im trying out this new lifestyle where I surround myself with positivity and already I can feel the difference. There’s so much negativity in the world already, be that positive face that everyone needs to see and make a difference in not only your life but everyone’s around you too ♡

ohthatstacey

xo

Five reasons why I want to quit Nursing..

Pink and Gold - Rekita Nicole

Hiiii everyone!

I’ve not really ventured into a blog post like this before, it’s quite personal to me but it is something I’m really passionate about. I hear nurses getting bashed left, right and centre and I know there are some absolute horror stories out there HOWEVER, majority of nurses are pretty hardcore. I’ve wrote and deleted this hundreds of times in fear of being too negative, I’ve tried to be as positive as I can be but this is real life and I wanted to share our side of the story.

I first started my nursing training back in 2011, I was 17 and a half, boy did I NOT know what I was letting myself in for. I qualified in 2013 and started my first real life nursing job in January 2014, where the realisation finally hit. Which brings me to now, three and a half-ish years qualified as a nurse after three years of training and I want to quit my career altogether already. Why?

1) Zero appreciation

We don’t do it for the thank you’s, honestly we don’t. Well I definitely don’t. But it’s so difficult to have motivation to continue working hard on what feels like an impossible amount of tasks when rather than being thanked for the hard work we’re already doing, we’re being complained at for the very few things that aren’t being done that are totally out of our control. I understand the frustration, I really do. But, the NHS is so short staffed that it’s SO difficult for us. I wish people could understand that too.

For those of you that have good things to say about nurses and appreciate the hard work that goes in to our job, you da bomb! No but seriously, people like you are SO appreciated.

2) Pressure

Wow, the pressure. I’m 23, and the amount of responsibility I hold in my hands on each shift is actually quite scary. If I’ve not had enough sleep and if I’m slightly tired or if I’m starving cause I’ve not managed to get a break yet or if my tummy hurts because I’m dying to pee but haven’t quite had the chance to break off from my impossible amount of tasks I need to complete, I’m on absolute edge that even those smallest of things will distract me and I’ll miss something or I’ll forget to do something. I finish my shift terrified that I’ve missed something and wondering what would happen. Realistically, the next nurse would just pick it up for me (that’s the good thing about 24hour nursing) but then I feel guilt ridden because I know how busy they will be and I’ve just added to their impossible list. Do you catch my drift? The pressure is probably the hardest aspect of the job.

However, in the long run when you’ve saved someone’s life all of that pressure can be well and truly worth it. Swings and roundabouts and all that jazz.

3) Family life

Now, I’m quite lucky to be in a job that’s flexible and I can kind of work around my family especially now that I’m only working part time. But, previously it has been hard. Sometimes I would have gone nearly a week without spending any time with my family and to some that might be heaven but to me, family is SO important and no job is worth taking that time away from me. There’s no clock in, clock out time in nursing. If you get to shift early you get up and help because you know it’s dang busy and a lot of the time you finish late, sometimes an hour or two because again, it’s just sooo dang busy. And if you have a family member waiting to pick you up, well I guess they just have to wait. It’s hard.

However, having an understanding family and appreciative of what you do is a HUGE help. If you’re a family member of a nurse, health care assistant, doctor, domestic or whoever in the NHS and you appreciate them, you are also the bees knees my friend!

4) Cruddy hours

Nurses do a mixture of long days, early mornings, late nights, night shifts, weekends, bank holidays, on call. There’s no choice, you do what you get given. We work Christmas, new year, Easter, all the holidays. That’s what 24/7 is folks. I currently work 12 hour shifts and it’s long and hard and tiring, coming home to have a family to look after too is real hard work. I’m drained by the time I get home and have to muster up the energy to have some life left for my family.

I’m trying to find some positivity in this point but struggling (oops). I guess we knew the hours when we signed up to the job so should take that on the chin.

5) It’s changing

Change, everybody haaates change. When I first got into nursing I LOVED it! I felt like it was my calling in life, offering help to people that needed it the most. It gave me a buzz and on a good day now, it still does. But, as always change comes along. There’s MORE paper work, MORE checklists, MORE tasks, MORE patients to look after but most importantly there’s LESS staff. It’s hard.

Those are a lot of negatives I know, there are still some positives to nursing too I guess. To reiterate what I previously said, on good days I still love it but those days are becoming more and more far apart.

So, the next time you’re going to complain about a twenty minute wait (I know that it can be a LOT longer than that) for your appointment just think about the people that are running around trying to get to you as fast they can, trying to do their job as best they can and at the end of the day we’re only human. We don’t want to have to keep you waiting either. We want to get the job done as much as you do.

Try and offer a thank you to those that have helped you, believe me it may be the first they’ve heard in weeks AND it’ll make their day! I appreciate the frustrations of the NHS, I really do. But try and appreciate the frustration of the staff behind the scenes too. We’re all in this together after all. If we all try and be a bit more positive about the craziness of the NHS right now it’ll make everyone’s life sooo much easier.

Ultimately, all health care professionals are in this profession because they do just that, CARE. We care for our patients, we care for strangers, we care for the NHS. We care for YOU.

I hope this has helped give you a little behind the scenes to understand our side a little better. Who knows, maybe I’ll find my calling in nursing again and be writing a new blog post in a while telling you all about how great it is… here’s to hoping!

Ohthatstacey

xo