Any moms out there feeling lost? If you don’t raise your hand to that question then I need your tips on how you’ve got your crud together. Becoming a mother sent me into this crazy spiral of the unknown me. This life that I had never known before, all this new responsibility, it not just being me anymore and a whole lot of love that I had never before experienced in so much power before. We’ve all been there, heck, I think I still am. I’m only just finding my way back to the idea that I am still me, still Stacey, still that crazy, adventurous girl I’ve always been. I didn’t want that to change, I wanted to show my little girl that she can be whatever, whoever she wants to be, always and that’s okay.
For the first few months after she was born I actually felt quite great, except for the whole getting past the ordeal my poor body had just been through. I had the love of my little girl getting me through every single day. Once my little hit six months, my emotions went c r a z y. I’m putting it down to hormones but I don’t actually know. Of course, I still had the love of my little girl getting me through every day (and still do now) but there was a small part of me that didn’t really know where my life was heading. I guess that is what motherhood is all about, you don’t know where you are going to be going to next. Time was going so fast and I felt like I couldn’t grip on to each memory long enough. I was out one night with a friend and all I could think/talk about was my little girl and I realised, I didn’t want to be that mom. Of course, everything I think about is her but I wanted a part of me to be me too, just me and only me. Is that selfish? I hope not. I still give everything I have to offer to my little girl but I just wanted to keep a part of little, old Stacey alive.
I made a bucket list, a list of all things I want to achieve by the time I’m 30, sort of like a checklist for my life in the next six years. Nothing too unrealistic, maybe some too big of an expectation but I am a firm believer that if we don’t try, we’ll never know and living in regret is a terrible circumstance. Not one I wish to take, and one none of us should want to take, this is our life and it is worth living to the fullest, regardless.
I started saying yes again, I used to when I was younger, be up for any adventure. As I got older and my responsibilities shifted I felt like I couldn’t do that anymore. How silly of me. Little did I know that going on adventures as I got older was actually even more exciting and more often than not, I get to share them with my little side kick. What a wonderful life. So, if you’re reading this, make adventure a priority in your life. Eat that cake, go to that new restaurant, buy that pair of shoes, wear that crazy outfit, rock your mom bod in that bikini, jump on that train and get lost — find joy in finding your way again. The only person stopping ourselves from living is ourselves.
I am planning on going on more adventures with my favourite little, I want to explore the world and I am going to do just that with her by my side. Even if it is one place every year or so, any way I can I’m going to go out and find all the joy and beautiful things in the world because they are there for our enjoyment. How much do we miss out on just because we live an ordinary life? Ordinary is boring. I want to really, truly live. I want to look back at this time of my life and smile because I know I have no regrets and have memories that will last a lifetime. Who’s with me?
Happy living on the wild side babes.