Sometimes tantrums are a given and unfortunately you’ve just got to let your kiddiewinks ride them out, even if it is in the middle of the supermarket. We’ve all been there. Recently, I’ve been trying to see if there’s anything I do that doesn’t necessarily help the tantrum throwing stage. Now, I know that I’m not going to stop them completely, tantrums are like a way of life for toddlers. But, if I can try and prevent them as much as possible than we’re on to a winner right?
1) Step into their shoes. Even if it’s just for a second. Sometimes their demands may seem unreasonable, to you but to them it actually means the world that they pick up that dirty piece of rubbish off the floor to play with, so when you say no they just don’t understand. Before you lose it too, evaluate the whole situation and try and understand that they don’t understand why they can’t do whatever it is you’ve said no to. Appreciate that if you were them, at that age you’d probably want to do that too (maybe, or maybe not. Not sure rubbish ever appealed to me as a child).
Sometimes the little monkies have no reasoning and just throw a wobbly simply because they’re tired or whatever. When it comes to that, like I said previously just let them ride it out. Or you could always throw a tantrum too, I feel ya. Tantrum stage is H A R D.
2) Explain, explain, explain until you are blue in the face. They may not understand right away but I absolutely promise you one day, it will finally sink in and you’ll be able to do the parenting win jiggle! I hope you all know the one. If you don’t, shame on you! You’ve been missing out. Introduce the parenting win jiggle into your life now, you’ll be happier for it.
When Esmé is trying to tip all the food out of the boxes into the kitchen and add a bit of squash to the scenario, I’ve started trying to explain why I don’t want her to do it. Instead of just saying no, I simply just say “mommy doesn’t want you to do that please because…..”. Sometimes she gets it, sometimes she doesn’t. It’s the way of life. Persistence is key when it comes to parenting.
3) Give ultimatums and follow through with consequences. My little is only 17 months old so I’m not too brutal with this one but I still use it and she does understand. If she’s starting to throw a massive wobbly, I take a toy or something she is holding and tell her “mommy will have this then” to which she obviously says no in the most dramatic way possible, (even if it’s just a wooden spoon? Kids.) and I reply with reasoning “well stop doing……. please. And mommy will give it you back”.
Works like a gem, majority of the time but not always. Take each time as it comes. Note, I always use my manners. If I want respect from my children I must show them respect too. Which leads nicely onto my next tip.
4) Breath. It’s SO easy to lose our cool in these sorts of situations, just breath and stay as calm as possible. You’ll both be happier for it, trust me. This is possibly the best advice I could ever give. Sometimes I go and scream into a pillow because this child has thrown about a gazillion tantrums in half a day. BUT some days, reasoning is on point and I feel like a parenting god. Take each day as a lesson because we’re all learning here. Every day is a new day.
5) Give them some love. When it’s all blown over give them a kiss, a cuddle or play their favourite game with them. Show them that good behaviour = happy mommy/daddy and that is a very good thing. Children need love and attention and lots of it, you can never give too much.
Little E pushes my buttons to no end but I love her and I make sure she knows and feels that every single day. She’s not an angel, she’s cheeky, crazy, mischievous and full of character. I wouldn’t have her any other way. Now, I am by no means a parenting expert but these steps really work for me and I hope they help you in some way too.
Here’s hoping tantrum days come and soon! Happy parenting my loves ♡